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(3 small hands | not even the rain)

Jet Lag [02 Jun 2006|09:57pm]
[ mood | a little bit miserable ]

I'm in LA. Let's hang out. I don't know why but it's harder and harder for me to write on this thing. But really, I want to hang out with you.

And I'm trying to figure out a way to get up to Santa Cruz to see everyone else.

(5 small hands | not even the rain)

The last one I tell you! [19 May 2006|01:27pm]
[ mood | uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhungover ]

This is the last birthday on which I wake up in my shoes
What a way to start my 21st year. Happy birthday Danielle. I love you. Thanks for calling me this morning, sorry I wasn't super receptive, but now you know why. Hope your day starts off better than mine.

(1 small hand | not even the rain)

The hip bone's connected to the Crucifix [04 May 2006|08:30pm]
I went to Portugal with my friend Rosa. Our first stop was Evora, where we found the Capela Dos Ossos: A chaple decorated with almost 5,000 skulls and other human remains. The only explanation provided was that it was the existential reflection of three Franciscan Monks. Apparently, very little is known about who's skulls these actually are.
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Then we went to Sintra, a beautiful, small, castle filled town near Lisbon. I wanted to find the ocean, as I've been feeling it's strong absence while living in Cordoba (a city surrounded by mountains)so we split up. I got very lost trying to find the bus station, so I asked a woman on the street for help. She said that she was walking in the same direction so we walked together. She brought me to the bus stop, and her husband's art gallery was right across the street and she said that I could wait there. We went inside and over tea (and lots of erotic Portuguese art) she told me how to get to an "untouched" beach, that is mostly only known by locals. I couldn't have asked for better directions.
So I went to Cascais, where I found the most clear water I've ever seen, a rock called Hell's Mouth that actually looked like it's name, and I must admit, more German tourists than I'd like, but hey, I'm a tourist too.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

And on the day I returned to Cordoba:
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

(1 small hand | not even the rain)

Recieving packages three weeks late, Changing my mind [01 Mar 2006|04:36pm]

(10 small hands | not even the rain)

Consider who I am when you read this [23 Feb 2006|07:29pm]
This is going to sound pathetic.
Is traveling around Europe, completely alone a good idea or a bad idea? I am considering this because the giant group of obnoxious americans that i am with are all going to Rome for Spring Break. I would like to do something different. I enjoy being alone, and I'm used to it, but there are other things at stake. Also, if you know anyone in Europe right now...yea, i'm so desperate. I've met a lot of awesome spanish kids but they're not out of school/work when I am. I am not enjoying the pressures of planning. Especially in a group whose interests are completely different from mine.

(1 small hand | not even the rain)

A few facts about my host Mom [12 Feb 2006|08:05pm]
She studies pollen for a living.
She likes tomatos.
She is a widow.
She has an eight year old and a ten year old.
She has aged a lot very recently.
She has a sad laugh. When she told me that she and her husband each had their own couch before the kids were born, she laughed. She could identify the ancient imperfections in the couch: the stains, the rips, and she told me, "Ahora, los dos son mios".
I don't know how to describe the way she looks at her son, who is apparrently as "noble and calm" as her husband was, and who looks just like him.
I think that she is the most interesting part of this whole experience. I really like her. And I'm just trying to put everything together.

Right now I am sitting on my balcony with a puppy in my lap. I'm a little lonely but I'm doing well.

(4 small hands | not even the rain)

I remember I told you, I was curious. I never said that I was brave [11 Feb 2006|10:26pm]
The lines of Leonard Cohen have been getting me through this.

The first email I sent home was about how happy I was here, just because I was preparing the words I would say before I even got here.

(6 small hands | not even the rain)

Disclaimer: Entry may have many errors (I´ve been speaking so much Spanish, I can´t speak english) [03 Feb 2006|11:52am]
Hola from Cordoba, Spain!
Here is my obligatory livejournal post from Spain. Well it´s not obligatory because I want to connect with the readers of this journal somehow. It´s just so hard to sum up everything. There are just minor changes which I never expected to make such a big difference, but I guess that´s called CULTURE SHOCK. The first family that they put me with was a nightmare. They smoked inside, were rude to me from the beginning, and lived in a cramped, dark apartment keeping the windows closed. I don´t want to go into more detail because it was pretty traumatic. I tear up just thinking about it. It was really bad. I´ll write more about it when it is farther in the past. The knew family I am with is so kind. There are two children, 10 and 8. The ten year old loves to help me with my spanish. Last night I played a spanish board game with her and if I didn´t understand something, she would act it out in a very detailed and theatrical way. She would NOT let me open my dictionary! The mother is so sweet. She is well educated and very interesting. On the first day, we sat in her kitchen drinking tea and talking for about 2 hours. I felt like I wasn´t even speaking a foreign language, and definitely didn´t feel like it was with a stranger. She felt like an old friend. THe house is beautiful too. I have my own balcony with a nice view of the modern side of Cordoba. My classes are very interesting, and the other students in the program are so nice. It´s a difficult transition so everyone becomes rapidly very close. I wish I could list more of the activities I have been doing but there is so much!
More later. I miss and love you all.

(3 small hands | not even the rain)

This is ground control [01 Dec 2005|09:00am]
[ mood | World AIDS Day ]

I am a ball of stress and mucus.

This is my first and last cry for help.

(4 small hands | not even the rain)

Fuck Y'all [29 Oct 2005|03:21am]
mY LIMbs feel so tingly. i promise i won't edit this or use the ledelete key atALL. NO DELETE KEY. Um yea i thought this wou ld be good but i just want to go to bed.

(1 small hand | not even the rain)

Every Halloween they hung a million rubber skeletons across ninth street [27 Oct 2005|10:57am]
The hermit crabs which were named after my sister and I, have died. With this, I say so many things.

(not even the rain)

If I ever become an English teacher. My students will read this along with the Iliad [06 Oct 2005|06:42pm]
[ mood | this is kind of a joke ]

Memories of the Future
There are one or two murderers in any crowd.
They do not suspect their destinies yet.
Wars are started to make it easy for them
To kill that woman pushing a baby carriage.

The animals in the zoo don’t hide their worry.
They pace their cages or shy away from us
Listening to something we can’t hear yet.
The coffin makers are hammering everywhere.

The strawberries are already in season
And so are the scallions and radishes.
A young man buys roses, another rides
A bike through the traffic using no hands.

Old fellow bending over the curb to vomit,
Betake thee to thy own place of torment.
The sky at sunset is red with grilling coals.
A hand in a greasy pot-holder hovers over us all.

(1 small hand | not even the rain)

[04 Sep 2005|12:41pm]
Everything is Illuminated the Movie was awful. Not even that it didn't do justice to the book. It was just a bad movie. I'm not disappointed....

(4 small hands | not even the rain)

A List [27 Aug 2005|01:00pm]
Why I hate Los Angeles: (Note: I like LA for the same reasons I like any city, the diversity, the life, and I must admit that it is interesting for the very reasons which I am about to complain.)

1. Being in LA means I have to work, at a job, not at school. Here I have to earn money and then go home and be tired. Although I have actually enjoyed both jobs I have held these past two summers, It doesn't beat Santa Cruz, where I work twelve hours a week (playing hide and seek with three year olds, really) and for the rest of the time I read good books. My vacation does not occur during the summer, but during the school year.

2. Being in LA means I must ride my bike everywhere. And deal with men driving Beamers (the car, I don't know how to spell it) who yell at me "Get a car!" ("Get a new ozone layer" my shy co-worker offered as a come back.)I love my bike, but apparently, the drivers of Los Angeles don't.

3. Rude physical therapists who tell me, "Why would you want to want to be a teacher? Teachers make as much money as a secretary or a waitress. What's the point?" AND "You won't even find a rich husband because you will be surrounded by women all day!" AND "Most children don't even remember their teachers."

4. Rude Strangers, who are quick to judge, quick to cuss, quick to yell, quick to complain.

5. Me being insecure, feeling like I felt in high school, feeling too shy to chew out rude physical therapists.

5. Things which I can't fix. (But this might be the reason why I keep coming back.)

6. Car accidents.

7. Family issues. (Everyone has them.)

This is where I grew up, I can't help but love the nostalgia sometimes, but there are things which I don't want to remember.

Thank goodness for my wonderful friends and my sister here. Otherwise, I would never come back.

(5 small hands | not even the rain)

Would you like e-mail in your coupons? [17 Jul 2005|08:46pm]
Right now, I am reading "The History of Love" by Nicole Krauss.

I have not read any of the Harry Potter's but I'm glad they exist.

(1 small hand | not even the rain)

I'M TOO BUSY FOR YOU! [02 Jul 2005|05:34pm]
go see the movie "me, you and everyone we know". laughing and crying have not occurred in such close proximity in a long time.

(5 small hands | not even the rain)

Can you COUNT, suckas? [26 Jun 2005|12:46pm]
[ mood | what have you done!? ]

Girls from 2201, I must come back to live with you in the fall. But can Penny and Pete come too?

As you can see, Shoko is already aquainted.

How can you refuse?

In other news, the evil one eyed man with half a fu manchu...

You know him, well he drugged me and cut my hair.


(4 small hands | not even the rain)

every halloween they hung a million rubber skeletons across ninth street. [24 May 2005|10:30am]
[ mood | notenoughsleepbuti'mhappy ]

I think that if the insecure thirteen year old version of me were to meet the insecure twenty year old version of me, she would think i'm pretty cool, and woudn't mind growing up to be like me.

(1 small hand | not even the rain)

a love song, johnny cash style (why are all my entries about love? because i'm full of it!) [12 May 2005|12:14am]
[ mood | drunk on a wednesday night ]

there is a good man in my bathroom right now. he is watching his girlfriend vomit. i don't think we would get along, (goodness and me) but i like to see this kind of goodness in my house. i need to wake up at 7am tomorrow. i need to sober up. i am passionate about so many things.

(2 small hands | not even the rain)

[24 Apr 2005|11:22pm]
[ mood | Pretty fucking happy ]

Love me, because love doesn't exist, and I have tried everything that does.


The man who wrote those words noticed me in the second row.

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